I remember

Dear Peanut,

In less than a week you’re turning one.  I can’t believe how much time flies but I’m so excited to celebrate each and every milestone with you.  You’re the best thing that happened to your daddy and I.  Here are some memories from our first year together:

I remember when you were born.  You didn’t cry when you appeared into this world and only let out a short cry when the doctor sucked the gook out of your throat and nose.  When they placed you on my chest, I couldn’t believe my eyes.  You were so quiet, so perfect.  You spent the first 2 hours of your life just watching us with those big brown eyes.

I remember when we brought you home for the first time.  I’ve never felt to happy and so scared in my life.  Daddy and I walked you all around the house, showing you every little thing we could think of and introducing you to your furry siblings.  You just laid there and took it all in.  Then you started crying and didn’t stop for over an hour.

I remember the first time that you actually smiled at me.  A real smile.  At me.  I held you close and cried for a while because I’ve never felt so happy.

I remember the first night that daddy and I felt like we could really do this – you were crying on and off for over 4 hours in the middle of the night.  We fed you, changed you, rocked you, put you down, picked you up, and did it all over again.  Then we decided to put on an extra layer of clothes just in case you were cold.  You slept the rest of the night without a peep.  We felt like heroes.

I remember the week we spent together before you went to daycare.  We treasured every single moment of it, exploring the town, taking daily walks, and hanging out with friends.  You were just starting to interact with us more and more and our bond was unbreakable.

I remember my first Mother’s day – we spent the whole day together, just you, daddy and me.  We didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, but it was one of the best days of my life because that day I celebrated being your mommy.

I remember the first time that you swallowed a big spoonful of cereal and then reached out to stuff the whole spoon into your mouth, practically begging for more.  We laughed and daddy said, “yup, she’s your daughter.”  Yes, Peanut.  Yes, you are.

I remember when you started sitting up on your own – the look of pride on your face (and mine) was priceless.  I couldn’t imagine you doing anything cooler.  You impress me, my little one.

I remember the day you got your first ear infection.  It was just a few weeks after I went back to work and you woke up screaming.  You never cried after the initial 10 weeks, so we were dumbfounded.  I spent all morning walking you around the house, trying to calm you down.  You threw up and then finally fell asleep.  After less than a half hour you woke up screaming again.  I finally got a doctor’s appointment and brought you in to learn that you had an ear infection and must have thrown up from the pain.  That was not a proud moment in our parenthood life.

I remember spending hours making funny faces and obnoxious noises at you in hopes that you would finally laugh.  You would always get so close but then freeze, staring us down.  It’s as if you knew that we were so eager to hear your angelic giggles and you were teasing us.  When you finally laughed, we were not disappointed and we’ve been trying to make you laugh ever since.

I remember when your best friend, your puppy Cailey passed away.  You spent the days after looking for her, waiting for her to waddle her way over every morning.  It took almost a week for you to forget about her and every one of those days was excruciatingly heartbreaking.

I remember the first morning when I walked in to your bedroom to find you standing in your crib, smiling at me.  I smiled the rest of the day.

I remember the day when daddy took you out of my hands and you said “mama” and reached out for me.  I’ve never held on to you so tight as I did that day.

I remember the day you and I spent at Kid City.  We had the most amazing day, playing in every room, grabbing a lunch out together.  And then, while I was too busy trying to take a picture of you with my phone you lost your balance and fell and hit your head on the cement floor.  I cried and called your daddy while bouncing you up and down in efforts to calm you down.  You were fine, but I was not.

I remember the morning that daddy and I decided to skip our weekend chores and took the long drive to another town to check out a breakfast place we heard about.  You sat on my lap and ate a banana while we enjoyed some eggs and coffee.  We spent the rest of the morning without an agenda, walking around the town and stopping in at the local stores.  It was spontaneous and just so wonderful.

I remember the day that we realized that you were a trouble maker.  Daddy took away his cell phone from you after you threw it down 3 times.  You squealed at him and then beelined it for the Wii – the one button in this house you are not allowed to press.  As you reached your destination, you looked straight at him and pressed the button with all your might.

I will remember each and every one of these moments and many more that will come.