16 weeks and a first major meltdown…by me

And it happened.

My first major meltdown/panic attack about having a second kid. Out of nowhere, as I was sitting at my desk, filling out an expense report and reading an e-mail, my brain turned a corner and off it went, into the unknown.

What are we going to do about a second high chair?

Crap, I’m not going to have a guest room anymore. And I don’t have any plans or ideas about a nursery.

I don’t want to move Peanut out of her crib, she loves her crib. And her room. Is she going to hate us?

omg, she’s going to hate us. We didn’t just make a decision to change our life forever, we made a decision to change hers. And she is so happy right now. What have we done?!

omg, our lives will never be the same. And it’s going to be hard. So so so hard. How are we ever going to handle this?!

Where are we going to put the baby swing? We don’t even have a baby swing. How am I going to afford this all over again when I already have a toddler that we’re paying out the nose for?

omg, daycare costs. What are we going to do? How is this going to work? And I just bought lunch when I could have eaten something from home. Why oh why did I just spend $8 on a sandwich?

If we put a second car seat in my car, how the heck am I going to fit anything else in there? And it’s wreck these days with just one toddler and one very small dog – my car is going to be trashed.

I don’t want a two-kid stroller. I’m just never going to leave the house again. Ever. And I hate being stuck at home. Why did we do this?

And what about my marriage? My perfect marriage that took a backseat when Peanut was born and was just starting to steer toward the front. Where on the priority list would my husband fall, the one I swore would always come first, when we introduce another dependent little nugget to the mix?

I don’t have many answers but I know that many people have gone through this and come out even better on the other end. So although right now I’m skeptical nervous freaking out, I know that in the end it will all work out.

On a different note – some belly pics.

Weight gain so far: 7 lbs