Today I’m 20 weeks pregnant with our second little one. That’s about half way through (if you count 40 weeks as the final destination) and I have to tell you – it feels like we’re at a turning point.
To date I’ve done almost nothing more but worry and freak out. This pregnancy was completely planned, in fact, I think we planned this timeline before we even got pregnant with Peanut because we thought that this would be an ideal age difference for our kids. Yet, looking back at the last 20 weeks, you couldn’t guess that since I’ve been worrying almost non-stop about having a second baby.
Until this week. This week has been a turning point. I’ve let down my guard and noticed that I’m looking forward to 2 kids (well, obviously we always wanted 2 kids but it’s been fogged by my natural ability to freak out over something that already happened). I’ve been day dreaming about holding my little newborn while playing with my toddler, I’ve started to plan out the guest room that will be Peanut’s new room, and I’ve even thought about changing P’s nursery to a new nursery (an act I considered treason to my toddler just a few weeks ago).
It’s as if I’ve crossed the hump that was my worry and am starting to come around to the other end – the one where I am getting so stinkin’ giddy about this tiny little baby and the changes that s/he will bring about.
I’ve even, *gasp*, started to looking forward (well, relatively speaking) to giving birth. No, I have not forgotten, contrary to what people told me, about Peanut’s birth experience or the pain. But instead of concentrating on that, I’ve started to think about seeing the little one when s/he’s born and holding him or her and smelling that insatiable baby smell. Sure, it’s going to be terrible and painful and all that other “good” stuff, but the prize at the end is so worth it that I’m no longer dwelling on the pain.
It’s funny- because I think this happened to me with Peanut too. I was more excited with the first one (mostly because I honestly had no idea what to expect from a pregnancy), but I still had so many reservations, especially about the birth until about 20 weeks. I don’t know if it’s feeling the regular movements and kicks of the little one or the fact that I’m really starting to show that things are becoming real in the most wonderful way I can imagine.
And with all the bad that is going on in the world these days and the tragedies, bringing a new life into this world feel amazing to me.
Size of baby: size of a large mango, 6.5 inches long and 10 oz in weight
Total Weight Gain/Loss: 10 pounds
And, because we’re a lot more impatient and seriously giddy about this, we couldn’t keep the baby gender to ourselves.
But first, a little story.
Jon and I were sitting at the ob office, talking about the upcoming ultrasound. I was so so so positive that the baby was a boy and Jon was absolutely sure that we were having a girl. So we decided to put a little wager on it. On Friday we were planning to go out to a movie since we have the day off and Peanut is at daycare. We haven’t been to a movie in ages (almost 2 years!) so this was kind of a big deal. We looked up the movies in the local theatre and I chose Twilight, while Jon chose the Hobbit.
Well, when we got to the ultrasound room, we told the technician about our little bet as she started the ultrasound. The tech winced, looked at me and said, “Ugh. I’m sorry, but it looks like you’re seeing the Hobbit.”
And that, my friends, is how I’m stuck seeing the Hobbit this Friday.
ps- obviously we’re all incredibly excited for many many many reasons. (seeing the Hobbit is not one of them).