For the last time

I can’t help myself as I start to feel that familiar tug at my heart, the hollow feeling in my stomach and I slowly begin to grasp for air as my chest tightens.  I reason with myself and try to push the logic down my body and hope it reaches my heart.

For the last time today I pumped at 10:30am.  Tomorrow I’ll begin to wean Taylor from her daytime nursing and begin to replace the daytime nursing with other dairy substitutes while teaching Tay to drink her milk from a sippy cup (it will still be breastmilk as I have a pretty big supply built up).  I try to remind myself that I’ve given this decision a lot of thought and planned the timing to fit what was right for me and what was right for my family.  But all my heart hears is “for the last time…”

For the last time today I deleted the “hold” that’s been on my calendar for a year.  My head reminds me that I am excited to gain the 20 minutes back in my day.  My head rejoices at the possibilities of getting out the door quicker with the kiddies to do something fun and not having to find ways to preoccupy the pre-schooler while I nurse the baby on the go.  But all my heart hears is “this is the last time.”

We are 100% confident with our decision that Taylor is our last baby and I am having zero regrets or feelings of incomplete.  This isn’t that.  In fact, I think it is my confidence that this is going to be the last that’s having such a strong hold on my heart strings.

Next week Taylor turns 1.

Just typing those words brings a new strength of tightness around my chest and I begin the game of trying to take deep breaths while my body panics for air.

Tomorrow I will forget all about this and we will be on to the next milestone.  There will be new opportunities and Taylor will move on quicker than I.

But today.  Today my heart hurts.

Baby subscription box review: Bluum versus Citrus Lane

This month with the help of a coupon and a Groupon and a Living Social deal, I ended up ordering a Bluum box and a Citrus Lane box for the kiddies.  I was curious to see what kind of products each of them shipped and, honest, to stack them up against one another to see which I liked best.

One of the mistakes I made is that I ordered one for each of the girls instead of ordering both for the same age…so take that into consideration.

I ordered Bluum Box for Taylor, 10 months old.  And here is what I received.

  • Ella’s Kitchen – Stage 1 – Carrots,Apples,Parsnips:  Taylor is 10 months old……Stage 1 is like 4 months old.  Regardless, she loves it and gobbled it up.
  • Blum Naturals – Towelettes – Cucumber: never going to use it.  Gave it to my SIL.
  • Weleda – Calendula Weather Protection Creams: probably won’t use it. We use AquaFore.  But, cute attempt.
  • Haba – Clutching Tricorn – Orange: this one actually annoyed me.  A lot.  She’s 10 month old – do I really need a newborn toy????
  • Deep Steep – Hand Scrub – Tangerine Melon: Will never use it.  But ya know, cute.

bluum box review

I also ordered a Citrus Lane box for Addison, 3 years old. Here’s what we got:


  • A “make your own book”: actually cute, can’t wait to do this with Addi-pie
  • Puzzles: adorable. Love them.
  • Play doh: Okay, most kids have this.  But my kids are into arts and crafts and we always welcome play doh.
  • Nail stuff for kids: cute. Great idea. Was so excited!  Then I opened the nail polish and it was chunky.  Big fail.  The stickers were fun though.

Citrus lane


My opinion overall?

I really do wish I ordered them for the same age group side by side for a true comparison, but, from what I did get, I’d prefer Citrus lane.  The products were better geared toward the age group I specified, they concentrated on my kids, and they were things I was actually excited to try!

Which is your favorite subscription box?

Note: none of these were sent to me free.  I ordered both with a Groupon/LS deal I saw.  These opinions are my own based on one shipment.  The links are referral links.