Unexpected effects of working part-time


After Taylor was born I struggled and struggled with going back to work.  I knew that I wanted to work.  I knew that I couldn't stay home full time.  But I also knew the I was having a hard time finding a balance while working full time.  After a lot of considerations and conversation, I did it.  I went part-time. I expected that I would find more balance.  I expected to love spending more time with the kids.  I expected that I'd get to know them better.  And, honestly, I expected that they would probably drive me nuts since I am not used to staying home with them. I feared knowing what to do when both of them were crying.  I feared being unable to juggle them on my own.  I feared that I would be stuck day after day at home with nothing to do. What I didn't expect is that working part-time would make me fall in love with our town.  Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of things that I love about the CT shoreline.  It's beautiful, there is access to an ocean (ok, sound, but it's better than no sound), it's quaint, it's safe.  But it never felt like home.  After 8 years here, I still felt like this was just a temporary spot that we were living in.  2 extra days at home with my kids and I am growing to love this town and area.  I've discovered a ton of new spots, activities for the kids.  We are rarely if ever at home and have a ton of things at our fingertips.  I've gotten to know other moms and with that I've learned about new places to take the kids.  I've started … [Read more...]

Making new friends

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  One of the things that I always had such a hard time with is making new friends in the area. You go through High School and College, making friends left and right.  You meet someone at a party, you're friends.  You have classes together, you're friends.  You have no one to sit with during lunch, you're friends. After college things change.  The close quarters and separation from the rest of the world disappears and we're on our own.  Those around you already have their friends and if you move to a new location, like we did, you're on your own. In your early 20's you can overlook this by driving 2 hours late into the night to see your friends.  Partying till 2 am and then driving home or crashing on a couch?  No problem.  Who needs friends where you live? By mid-20's you settled down.  Or we did.   You start putting down roots where you live.  Your friends are also putting down roots and so they are busier than before.  You start wondering if you'll make friends in the area...but you're not too worried.  You figure, once I have babies, friends will be easy to make. And then you start having babies.  Except you are still working full time.  Your days are scheduled.  Structured.  You barely have time to brush your teeth, much less make new friends.  Weekends are for chores, food shopping, and family time.  If you're like us, they're for traveling to see the friends and family you have and make sure that you're investing in those relationships. And, if … [Read more...]

Going back to work – the second time around

first day second time around

Maternity leave ended as quickly as it started.  One minute I'm feeling my contractions pick up and the next I am digging deep in my closet for something that will go past my new (hopefully not forever) thighs (ps, dresses are my best friends these days) and getting ready for my first day at work. I distinctly remember the night before and the first week of going back to work after maternity leave with Peanut.  I was a mess.  I cried as I prepped bottles, I cried as I put newly purchased name stickers and name bands on her stuff, I cried as I tried to fall asleep, I cried as I showered in the morning, and I bawled the entire drive to work.  For the whole week.  Maybe two. One of the first mistakes I made was to visit daycare during my lunch breaks.  Since my office was a mere 10 minutes away, I rushed out of the office at noon on the dot and burst into the baby room in hopes that Peanut was awake so I could shower her with kisses.  Most days she was asleep.  Every single one of those days I bawled on the drive back to work.  By the end of week two or three I decided I couldn't handle the emotional turmoil of saying goodbye to her twice a day and I stopped going at lunch.  After that, things started to get a little easier and a little easier and a little easier until I was actually looking forward to going to work and enjoying the new balance. This time?  Oh, the different lives we lead. I didn't buy Taylor any name stickers, and definitely no name bands, primarily … [Read more...]

On the whole working mom bit with a side of guilt

Before I proceed in what I imagine is going to be an emotional post (maybe just for me), I wanted to let you know that this was inspired by a bloggy friend of mine Rebecca and this amazing article she shared with me. As much as I offer the facts on being a working mom, I rarely ever talk about my feelings on the subject.  And the truth is that my feelings change almost daily if not minute by minute.  Some are due to an article or a blog post that I'll read by another mom, while others are based on what is going on in my day or my own head in that very moment. The truth is that I've (mostly) made peace with being a working mom.  I get a lot of  pleasure by the work I accomplish during my day in the office and I (usually) love getting dressed each and every weekday morning in something other than my sweat pants even if it's because I have to.  I love my career and I love my job.  I love the time I have to myself and the break (cringe) that I get from my family.  All in all I think that it is the right choice for me. And that's what I keep telling myself when I read a post by a mom who spent the day coloring with her kids, went to Target in the middle of the work day, crafted during nap time, and had dinner on the table before her hubby came home.  I tell myself that when I get a Facebook message from a friend who woke up at 9am because her toddler decided to get up early (I haven't woken up after 7am since about 3 years ago).  I tell myself that when I realize that I … [Read more...]

Goodbye 2012 – a recap

This is going to come as no surprise if you've been following along in the emotional train wreck that I am since I've had Peanut, but omg where does time go?  Another year is about to end and I cannot believe how quickly it's gone and yet how many things have happened this year. Let's just start at the beginning, shall we? January and my little Peanut at the start of 2012.  She turned 12 months (that's 1 year for non-baby peeps out there) and I did an almost 1-year old day in the life post. My wonderfully hilarious husband and his shenanigans...the man makes me laugh each and every single day.  And of course, my list of resolutions for 2012...which I think I actually gave a fair amount of effort and even a number of successes (ok, I still stink at being a good listener, but I really try). To get to know each other a little better, I told you 10 things just about me and we celebrated Addison's first birthday with her first cupcake and a wonderful birthday party with friends and family. February brought about a whole new almost-toddler.  Peanut started getting adventurous in her meals and I posted a meal plan for a 1 year old. As she continued to grow, so did her mischief streak.  And as much as I wish this wasn't part of it, we had our first visit to the ER. March brought about our first vacation with the baby to Florida and a few playdates. P continued to grow (don't you just love/hate that about kids?) and her personality continued to shine … [Read more...]